Okay! Here it is!

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As promised, here is the first chapter to All That's Left Behind. I hope you enjoy!

Comments

[figliaperduta.livejournal.com]

Oh gods.

*takes deep breath*

I have been living in denial ever since It happened. I have read no deathfic. While I have read Veilfic, it has always been of the sort that Sirius returns.

Until now.

And now I'm crying. I love especially your justification for Sirius' actions--many would pin it simply as insanity. Needless to say, I am very curious as to where you are going with this.

[erised1810.livejournal.com]

oh my god you too!! The chosign freedo mver safety...8gulps* that is theBEST short descriptio nof why he did what he did.

[quillscribe.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[quillscribe.livejournal.com]

Well, I know I'm an angst writer, but hang in there. Hopefully it'll be worth your while (eventually)! Thank you so much for reading it!

Sirius is one of my favorite characters as well, so believe me when I say I feel your pain. *sobs*

[polykleitos.livejournal.com]

Going to read now... :)

[erised1810.livejournal.com]

Yippy!! It was great read .angsty-harry alwasy has me wimper somewht becaus i've seen afew folks who jsut ads easiily coudl hcange hi mitno self-0mutilating-suciidal Harryandy oudi agreat job having hi mwork thorug hist houghts. I left somewhatthe same review there too, plos I lostyo aubit onthe sirisu and kreacher bitbutthat's an old sensitive debate that brigns bakc memories of harsh discussiosn about his maturity and how grown-up he acted and whose fault it was...Let's not have that start/escalate here. *weak lol*

[quillscribe.livejournal.com]

Well, first off, let me reassure you that I will not do self-mutilating Harry. It doesn't strike me as something Harry would do. As for suicidal Harry... Not in a conventional way. He doesn't necessarily want to die, but he *does* want to be happy, and at this point he doesn't see how that can happen in his life. Hopefully his friends will help him with that.

As for the Kreacher discussion - In the discussion in OotP where Dumbledore confesses to Harry, he says the following:

"Sirius did not hate Kreacher," said Dumbledore. "He regarded him as a servant unworthy of much interest or notice. Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike...
The fountain we destroyed tonight told a lie. We wizards have mistreated and abused our fellows for too long, and we are now reaping our reward." pg. 834 OotP

When I read this the first time, it didn't sit well. It does sound like a 'you reap what you sow' sort of thing to me, too, and all I could think of was poor Sirius, trapped in a house with a portrait that screamed horrible obscenities and a house-elf he undoubtedly shared bad blood with giving little digs nearly every time he spoke with him.

This was something Harry could certainly relate to. He's forced to forever endure the Dursley's poor behavior, to take without complaint all that Snape dishes out, scolded for reacting to Umbridge... You get my gist. ;-)

Even more than Harry, Dumbledore expected for Sirius to continue to endure without any consideration for how what he'd gone through might have affected him.

Nope, you will not find me casting blame on Sirius *sobs*!

So I hope that clarifies a little of what I was trying to convey Harry feels about Dumbledore's attitude towards Sirius. Whether he and Harry can ever get beyond the damage he's done... That we'll have to see. ;-)

[erised1810.livejournal.com]

Well it tiedi nwith alot of things. Probably a few keywoords that startedme up and made me forgetth context.
it did tie i nwith apost I saw a week ago that DUmbledore purposely let SIriius put i nazkaban so that Harry coudl stay with his relatives. it fukcign sounds in character and makes hi ma man ful lfo mroe than mistakes than I thought adn he'll ahve someting more to do then jsut show utterregret to somehow win me over if that's true.

that was 'my' sirisu msue talkign though, sorry aboutthat.

I understood the rest now. It's greatto find out we thin kalike. ;0i neverk new yo uwer 'bored beyond believe', the oen I saw fic of some months ago before I even found your lj (now i forgot how I foudn yorus) adn saved to read. hmmmm...interesting.

[quillscribe.livejournal.com]

Truthfully, I don't think his manipulations go that far, but how did he know Sirius was innocent? In PoA, he didn't really need convincing. Why is that? That's a question that has bugged me for quite some time. He wasn't surprised Sirius was innocent. How would he know that (already) unless he were somehow privy to the revelations in the Shrieking Shack, and if he were... How could he leave Harry to face the Dementors? Just questions, and perhaps a reread will clarify things, but throwing ideas out there, whether they're legitimate or not.

LOL! You didn't know, huh? Hmmm... I wonder, did I ever even put it in my bio? Perhaps I'll go take a peek. ;-) Well, whatever brought you here, I'm glad you stayed! Thanks!

[erised1810.livejournal.com]

Hmm..sinteresting questiions. As amethod of convincign othersin my stories(story actually...) I sue thae factaht Sirisu doens't carry the dark mark dn the assumption that he surel ywoudl ahe if he'd revealed such important information to the dark lord.
Dot'ntell me ther isa possibility that he does cary the dark mark and ahs ben fakign it al lalong. becasusen o, it is not confirmed incanon that he isnt' wearing it. auch. I do hope jkr doesn't throw a ball like that to us. :P

[paradox01.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that was beautiful - is this fic going to continue through his sixth year? (please say yes!) And just out of curiosity - did you, yourself think that Sirius's death was necessary?

[quillscribe.livejournal.com]

*sighs* Yep, it's a bigger fic. How big, I'm not sure. I know where I want it to go, but we'll see how it gets there. *g*

No, I thought Sirius' death was a total waste of a marvelously tragic and complex character. The only way I could *ever* accept Sirius' 'death' as necessary is if she brings him back! :-D

[(Anonymous)]

Well worded first chapter, I really liked it!

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Thank you!

[azelmaroark.livejournal.com]

Hooray, the queen of angst has returned to her throne! ;)

I absolutely loved the first chapter (as if I was expecting anything less than the best from you!). I will leave you a review at FF.net with most of my comments/reactions, so at the risk of getting repetitive I won't post them here.

Sirius is my favorite HP character and it's good to find someone who feels the same way about the way Dumbles treated him in OotP. I'm also very glad to hear that this fic will not feature Self-Mutilating!Harry, because as you said, I really can't see Harry doing that. I've read a few fics where it is done well (good authors can do *anything* well, it seems!), but I largely don't care for it.

As to Sirius's death being necessary, I would have answered this with a vehement "NO WAY!" when I first read OotP last summer. Even now, my heart *really* wants to say that it wasn't necessary. When I force myself to look at the books from an academic, literary perspective, my emotional attachment to Sirius notwithstanding, I can see a few reasons why the Big Death was necessary. I think it put Harry's character in a place that it needs to be for the sixth book. Of course, this could have been accomplished by the deaths of any number of characters whom I am less attached to, so I don't think this entirely excuses JKR. ;)

But I have forgiven dear ol' Jo. Really. ('De Nile: not just a river in Egypt anymore!)

Anyway, I am rambling so I'll shut myself up: the long and short of it is that I love the fic and can't wait for the next chapter!!

-Azelma :)

[quillscribe.livejournal.com]

:-D

I'm glad you liked it! I've been nervous about jumping back in, but truthfully I've missed HP.

Ah, a fellow Sirius lover! ;-) Nah, I just can't buy the self-mutilating Harry. *shrugs* Yeah, he's certainly gone through enough, but...

You know, I still don't think his death was necessary. It kind of angers me the way OotP went. The previous 4 books (and Dumbledore) built Harry's independance and risk-taking up only to tear it all away from him in book 5. I don't see how it was a necessity. More like 4 steps forward, 5 back *g*. Of course, I *am* a bit vested, too, so that must be taken into consideration! ;-)

Well, thanks for the review, and I'm thrilled you like it! It's wonderful getting feedback again. I've missed it! :-D

Cheers!

[annasbeta.livejournal.com]

I'll keep it short; BRILLAINT!

[quillscribe.livejournal.com]

:-D Thanks!

[ptyx.livejournal.com]

Very good start! I like the way you're questioning canon and proposing new interpretations.

[quillscribe.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I think that's what I love most about HP. It's got such great *bones*, that I can't help but obsess and pick over it, fleshing it out as best I can. I'm glad you like it. I think the trickiest part will be to keep Harry canon but still the way *I* think he should grow, rather than how JKR appears to be doing it. ;-)