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[personal profile] quillscribe
I know it's been forever since I've posted anything. In my defense, a lot has happened in that time. I wrote a book, and have since been proofing. This, I've learned, is far harder than I thought it would be. I was used to the fanfiction posting process. When I did it chapter by chapter, and had it beta'd just prior to posting, it was easy. Of course, reviews were always a huge motivator to post, so it was a self-feeding process. ;-)

Sadly, I'm still proofing. I'm getting further, though. I discovered I set up a series of hurdles for myself, all of which were self-sabotaging and designed to stall me up. I do that entirely too much. I finally figured out that a lot of it has to do with the fact that when I'm the only one who has seen what I'm writing, its potential hasn't been defined. It could be a flop, but it could also be really good (or at least publishable). So I've sent off what I have proofed so far to my husband and my wonderful beta, as well as a local friend of mine. This is a big first step, and I think very necessary. I have to admit I'm shocked and proud of myself for having done it. Let the freeze finally be over!

I got laid off work a while ago, and just started a new job this week. This job involves lots of meetings and will keep me far more busy than my previous one did. I'm hoping the habit I'm trying to forge (I got up at 4 on Monday and 3:30 today) means I'll be able to make a place for writing where before I avoided it (proofing has made me neurotic... Well, okay, more neurotic than normal). I know I love to write, yet I haven't done it nearly enough for too long. Hopefully that's changing now.

I've avoided posting mostly because I was afraid to get wrapped up in fanfiction again. I *love* fanfiction. It gave me a home, and a forum to write where people could review my work anonymously and give me feedback I could finally believe was not biased. It also gave me far better episodes to read than ever I found in the canon series, or on television.

I know things are hard out there, and definitely scary. The company that laid me off is going under, and a lot of people are in a very frightening place. It's made me realize a lot of things. One of which is to treasure the things you do have, and the people who've impacted your life. So this is a blanket thank you to all of you out there. You've all made my life richer! I hope you all are doing well, or you at least are hanging in there! *hugs*
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September 2010


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